Those who know me are aware that I am immensely interested in personal development—especially on a spiritual level. I love to read, study, talk and write about all things regarding this subject. I get an enormous level of satisfaction from it. But to be honest, those who know me best know that I don’t always walk my talk. And in my defense I’d like to say: “This stuff isn’t easy!”
Sometimes even making the smallest of changes can seem like climbing an icy mountain slope. I make some headway only to fall back again. It kind of goes like this: I go to an exciting new workshop, or read a book or watch a great video. I get inspired and pumped up. Eager to try out the new strategies, I head out into the day. It works for a while, but then the energy around it seems to fade and I fail miserably as old habits, old patterns and old thinking kick in. Intellectually I know that the information is sound but practically…?
So why is this stuff so hard? And it doesn’t have to be just about spiritual goals. Any life-changing goal can be tough to accomplish. Maybe you want to lose a few pounds, run a marathon, or write a book. We all have dreams—changes we want to make in our lives but so many of us don’t follow through. Why?
Here are four of the less obvious things that can get in the way of spiritual development or any major change you might be working towards.
1) Over Intellectualizing the Process
“Image courtesy of Victor Habbick / FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.
When we set out to achieve any goal or to make any change, we tend to collect as much data about the subject as we can. We read up on it, cross reference, do histories, tests, the list goes on.
And maybe that’s the first thing that makes personal development so hard. We collect so much information that we displace our energy. Let me explain:
To gather information about anything we have to go outside ourselves. That’s fine, to a point. Over intellectualizing makes the process external instead of internal (spiritual), as we pull from outside sources to rationalize the problem.
Major changes must contain an element of spirituality for them to work. And spirituality has very little to do with information, strategies or techniques (which are all outside sources). For this reason, I’ve come to realize that treating any growth as an intellectual exercise is counterproductive. Self-improvement goals and especially spirituality are (by nature) very esoteric. They can’t be explained or planned—definitely not in a strategic way. They do not function in a “Step A, B and C Format”. So get the information, use it and move on. Don’t get suck in “data-mode”.
2) Not Making a Commitment
“Image courtesy of Photostock/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net”.
If you aren’t willing to make a commitment nothing is going to happen. A commitment has real power—magic if you will. It’s more than a decision, or a vague wish. It occurs at the soul—at your very core.
Commit not only to making the change but rather to “becoming” that change and allowing it to embody who you are in all situations. Until then your growth will crawl at a snail’s pace.
Commitment is the gas in the motor. Without it we can’t power our goals and dreams. Without the power of commitment, the detrimental power of our preexisting habits, beliefs and thinking will literally overwhelm the change we’re trying to do before it can germinate. Believe me, I know.
Goethe once wrote:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
3) Failing to Stay Present and Aware
As I’ve written before, awareness is kind of like finding your spot on a GPS screen. It not only tells you where you are, but more importantly, where you are in relation to everything else.
For me, awareness means two things: “Seeing” and “Understanding”.
The first part: seeing, is pretty simple. It’s more of an inventory exercise than anything else. Figure out where you are and where you are going.
The second part: understanding, grows and evolves out of seeing. Not only do you know where you are, but now you have an understanding of “why” you are there. And (perhaps) why you want to get from where you are to where you’re going.
(For more on Awareness click here and here.)
4) Lack of Focus
Give your full attention to your dream or goal. Focus on the goal to the exclusion of all else. Think, read, and talk about it—become it. Make it a part of you and it will become a part of who you are. Then it transforms from an idea a wish to a reality.
I’d like to say that it’s that easy: Just don’t over-think things, commit, keep present and aware and stay focused and presto-chango you’re a new person. But we all know saying is easier than doing. Understand that this “soul-work” is hard. It takes real effort. Change is never easy. You have to want it—really want it.Think of it this way: everything you currently are night now—the person you are—is the product of all your past actions, beliefs, daily routines and habits. And you have spent a life-time developing those things. That was hard work. It will take even more hard work, focus and effort to create new routines, beliefs and habits that will, in turn, create the person you wish to become and achieve the things you desire.
Yes, personal development is hard, but it may be the most rewarding thing you will ever do.