The Tar Pit: What To Do When You’re Stuck In a Bad Day.

Bad days. I’m amazed by how they can sneak up on me when I least expect it.

Here’s how it usually goes. Everything seems okay. The morning starts out nicely. Then something happens, then something else happens and before I know it, I’m stuck—right up to my armpits.
I affectionately call this the “Tar Pit”—a veritable boat load of problems, hang-ups and trials. Sound familiar?

When you’re in the tar pit it’s really easy to start feeling sorry for yourself. Maybe you get stressed out, or even angry, wondering “Why me?”  Believe me, I know the feeling.

When I find myself in the tar pit I tend to complain, blame everyone and everything, spiraling down ever deeper into the pit. The more I struggle to regain some measure of control, the deeper I go. Not a very healthy reaction, I admit. But, I’m getting better.

But there is good news: the tar pit isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds; not nearly as bad as it was for ill-fated woolly mammoths or other prehistoric creatures. For them, getting stuck in a tar pit was a death sentence. And what about poor Brer Rabbit? Remember him? Once they got stuck—it was almost impossible to get out. Luckily for us, the tar pit I’m talking about is far easier to escape—if you know how.   

1) Stay Aware
Woolly Mammoths and little Brer Rabbit found themselves in a sticky situation because they weren’t paying attention. Being present and aware is the best defense against the Tar Pit. If you are alert, you will instantly know when you have stepped into the pit and will be able to take corrective action—which is to step back.

2) Step Back
When you first recognize that things are starting to go bad—step back and take a breath. (Literally and figuratively). Center yourself. Take a few seconds to look at the situation from the outside. Is it really so bad? Is it worth risking the tar pit?

3) Appreciate
What is actually happening? Understand it. Instead of reacting with emotion and bias really look at it. Settle into it with a calm knowing. If the problem seems to be coming from a co-worker or somebody else; try looking at the situation from the other person’s perspective. If it’s the workload, try exploring why its upsetting you. Is there too much? Too difficult? Then break the work down into more manageable bits, and only focus on one bit at a time until it’s done and then move on.

4) Remember
We are not disturbed by the things that happen, but by our reaction to the things that happen. Never forget that we control how to react to an event. The event does not control us.

5) Choose
Make a choice to remember, to appreciate, to step back and to be aware.\

Ultimately, whether or not you find yourself in the tar pit, it comes down to you. It is also your choice to how long you stay there.


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