I’ve always been my worst critic.
As a recovering perfectionist, self-doubt and the compulsion to revise unnecessarily was a crippling problem. For me, my work had to be perfect and my inner critic had no qualms about letting me know when it wasn’t.
We all have that inner voice offering up criticism, whether we want it or not.
The good news is that this voice can be quieted by the more useful and beneficial voice of reason. When the voice of reason is allowed to shine we get helpful critiques that improve our work and let us grow and evolve as artists and creators—instead of being subjected to all those useless and damaging criticisms.
Ironically, the inner critic’s voice is the one we listen to most often. This is because we are conditioned to expect the worst of situations and of ourselves—primarily as a protection mechanism. We don’t want to get hurt, or disappointed. And the inner critic works overtime pointing out our perceived limitations to make sure we don’t wander into dangerous territory.
In a way, even though there are two separate voices at play here, it’s really only our internal dialogue oscillating between the positive and the negative.
Our internal dialogue is kind of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: helpful and comforting one minute, critical and hurtful the next.
So it is vitally important to know which voice is speaking. Jekyll or Hyde? How can we tell the difference?
Let’s look at the Hyde Voice—the Inner Critic
1) This Voice is Overly Critical
The Hyde voice speaks in a very absolute, black and white, kind of way. It says things like: “That sucks!” “It’s all wrong!” “It’s boring.” It makes sweeping, all-or-nothing criticisms.
2) This Voice Gets Personal
Criticisms escalate and migrate into personal attacks. No longer about the work, the voice starts to target you, the person. “I suck!” “I don’t have an ounce of talent.” “I’ll never make it.” “Quit.” Sound familiar? The creatively inclined can be very hard on ourselves. We often measure our self-worth by our abilities and accomplishments. When, in reality, one has nothing to do with the other.
3) This Voice is Unhelpful
The Hyde voice just spits out its bile without ever suggesting any improvements, fixes or solutions. It goes on like a broken record saying the same things over and over. And still, we listen and take these things to heart.
4) This Voice is Unreliable
It
lies—plain and simple. Most of what this voice says are fabricated, made-up
stories. Untrue. The work is never all bad. Nothing completely sucks. And your
worth has nothing to do with whether or not you reach your creative goals.
It exaggerates our failures, embarrassments and flaws. It remembers all the
hurtful comments and remarks we’ve heard others say about us. It tries to trick
us into believing that the mistakes of the past are stuck to us like glue
holding us down. When the truth is that our successes are built on top of those
mistakes. With every blunder we learn, grow and climb higher. Be careful of the
Hyde voice—it’s tricky and dangerous.
5) This Voice Tries to Limit You
It’s only focus is what can’t be done, how it won’t work, and that you’re not good enough to succeed. It desperately tries to convince you that there are limits to your creative potential. That somehow you have reached the farthest limit of what and who you can be. But, we never stop growing, evolving and creating. In this way, we are unlimited. We are only limited by our beliefs.
Now let’s look at the Jekyll voice—the Voice of Reason.
1) This Voice is Not Critical
The Jekyll voice speaks in a very flexible, supportive way. Yes, it will still point out potential problems but only with your best interests in mind. It says things like: “Okay. That could be better. How can I make improvements?” “I know I can do better work, than that. What did I do wrong?” “It’s close, but something is missing…I wonder what would happen if I made this change?” It prompts you to look for solutions.
2) This Voice is Personal
Jekyll’s voice relates to you personally. Its tone is one of understanding. It doesn’t point the finger. It is almost soothing. “I know I can do this.”
3) This Voice is Helpful
It offers solutions and helps us develop plans to overcome problems and to learn from them. It rallies all the known resources and applies them in a calm and helpful way with the goal of solving the problem creatively.
4) This Voice is Reliable
It
always speaks the truth. If a project isn’t working, it says so, but it reasons
why and doesn’t put any unnecessary blame on the person. We all have bad ideas.
It doesn’t make us talentless or unsuccessful.
Nor does the Jekyll voice try to make excuses why something isn’t working or
have us buy into untrue stories about who we really are. If something isn’t
working, that’s okay. But the Jekyll voice won’t make it all your fault or lay
unnecessary blame.
5) The Voice Helps You to Expand
The
voice of reason only wishes you to understand one thing: you have no limits.
There are only choices—choices of what you wish to do and those you do not.
Both voices are struggling to be heard over the other. The one we pay attention
to the most is the one that will become the dominate motivator in our lives and
creative pursuits.
So, in the end, it comes down to which voice we choose to give our attention to: Hyde’s or Jekyll’s?